HitmenH
Franchise file

Hitmen

Managed by George S., 2008–present. 2 spans on record.
136-135 lifetime, .502, 7th of ten across nineteen seasons.
Rob M.
8
07
George S.
3
08
4
09
5
10
5
11
1
12
8
13
4
14
1
15
3
16
9
17
6
18
George S.
10
19
7
20
4
21
10
22
7
23
4
24
3
25
9 playoff seasons / 19 played
27,327 points, all seasons
1,676 peak season, 2024
1,225 floor season, 2008
Best matchup Washed UP 18–11
Worst Naberhood 15–23
The All Cool Pete Team
2007–2025 on this roster
Tom Brady
2007–2022
Marshawn Lynch
2011–2015
Mike Evans
2014–2025
Jordan Reed
2013–2017
Justin Tucker
2014–2023
Cardinals
2015–2016
The year window is the only figure on these cards. PAR, starts and titles are in the table below.

The franchise

Two championships built on the least valuable rosters ever to win one.

George S. has won in 2012 and 2015 and both ledgers are negative. Minus 254 off the draft and minus 297 by every other route, and no other franchise with more than one title is underwater on both. The 2012 title was led by a running back and the 2015 one by a defense, which is to say there is no method here to describe.

He has made one trade in nineteen years. It was August 2023 and it bought Wayne A. a championship: the first overall pick went out for four players who produced minus 33 between them, and the pick became Bijan Robinson, who started for three consecutive title teams. The most trade-averse manager in the league made exactly one move and it started somebody else's three-peat.

The holding is long and mostly flat. Mike Evans started 142 games across twelve seasons for plus 235, and Frank Gore started 110 across eleven for plus 11, which is eleven years of a roster spot for nothing. Nine top-four finishes and two last places, 2019 and 2022, and the two titles sit in the middle of a career that has otherwise been steady and unremarkable.

Nothing about this franchise predicts either championship, and that is the honest description of it. Both arrived from mid-table seasons, neither was followed by another good year, and the roster that won them was worth less than the roster of every team it beat.

Ownership
Rob M. (through 2007, as the Crushers) → George S. (2008–).
Name history
Crushers (2007) · Poison (2008–2009) · Hitmen (2010–2011) · HITMEN \ POISON (2012) · Hitmen (2013–)

The All Cool Pete Team

All six positions, in detail. The callout above is the glance.

Franchise scope, minimum eight starts
Every PAR figure here is franchise PAR: what the man did for Hitmen, not what he was worth anywhere.
PosPlayerHereStartsTitles togetherFranchise PAR
QBTom Brady2007–20221181+202
RBMarshawn Lynch2011–2015532+160
WRMike Evans2014–20251421+235
TEJordan Reed2013–2017311+42
KJustin Tucker2014–202327+23
DEFCardinals2015–2016211+63
Franchise PAR: every start for Hitmen. Career PAR differs and is shown on the standing below — Tom Brady is +202 here and +238 career.

Player acquisition

Hitmen
Player acquisition
the worst first round in the league
Drafted
190 picks · 6 hits 50+ · 3 busts
−231
Stint PAR
Kept
Claimed off the wire
Traded for
Round one is where it goes: an average of minus 14, with Sammy Watkins chief among the busts and Clyde Edwards-Helaire taken first overall in 2020 with Jonathan Taylor still on the board. And yet: Mike Evans in round two of 2014 has started twelve seasons for plus 235, a payout length beaten only by Rodgers. Two titles anyway, built on keepers.
SIGNATURE  Mike Evans, 2014 R2, +235
WORST  Sammy Watkins, 2014 R1, −68
The draft route is complete. The kept, wire and traded counts are empty because roster-building.json carries them for three franchises only — this is not one of them.

Ring of Honor

Five places. Who, when, and compared to whom.

Mike Evans MIKE EVANS WR · #13 · TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS +235 PAR
the salute
Drafted 2.08 in 2014His era fell between the titles.
Tom Brady TOM BRADY QB · #12 · NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS +202 PAR
the salute
On the roster in 2007, the first documented seasonA supporting piece of 2012.
Demaryius Thomas DEMARYIUS THOMAS WR · #88 · DENVER BRONCOS +162 PAR
the salute
Waiver claim, 2011 week 7A supporting piece of 2012 and 2015.
Marshawn Lynch MARSHAWN LYNCH RB · #24 · SEATTLE SEAHAWKS +160 PAR
the salute
Drafted 2.05 in 2011Carried the 2012 and 2015 titles.
Wes Welker WES WELKER WR · #83 · NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS +140 PAR
the salute
Waiver claim, 2007 week 2A supporting piece of 2012.
07080910111213141516171819202122232425
Mike Evans
WR
Drafted 2.08 in 2014
11121312131312141313124
235 PAR HERE
142 STARTS
-14 IN TITLES
Tom Brady
QB
On the roster in 2007, the first documented season
151151215155148151510131512IronCity Mudslingersthere goes the Naberhood
202 PAR HERE
118 STARTS
33 IN TITLES
Demaryius Thomas
WR
Waiver claim, 2011 week 7
1515151313136
162 PAR HERE
90 STARTS
42 IN TITLES
Marshawn Lynch
RB
Drafted 2.05 in 2011
81464131415781Sweep The LegSMOKERSIronCity Mudslingers
160 PAR HERE
53 STARTS
56 IN TITLES
Wes Welker
WR
Waiver claim, 2007 week 2
12111281515131
140 PAR HERE
87 STARTS
14 IN TITLES
07080910111213141516171819202122232425
Franchise PAR per season. A gold cell is a season this man spent on a championship roster here, so a row can carry no gold at all. Hatched bars are seasons spent elsewhere, with the franchise named under the bar. Starts print under every bar.
Compared to whom
Each mark is one career. The five named men are this franchise’s Ring of Honor; the faint marks behind them are every other career in the field.
MEDIAN −21REPLACEMENTMarshawn Lynch 82Wes Welker 140Demaryius Thomas 162Mike Evans 235Tom Brady 238
Hover any mark for the career behind it.
Career PAR: every start for every franchise. Population: 480 careers with ten or more starts — QB, RB, WR and TE only. Binned at 12 PAR: a column's height is how many careers landed in it and every dot in it is one career. 315 of 480 sit at or below replacement.

What the titles were built on

Two titles and no pattern: a running back led one and a defense the other.

Won
Beat there goes the Naberhood, 112–68, by 44
Marshawn Lynch, +66 in 13 starts · Tom Brady led 11 weeks
Won
Beat IronCity Mudslingers, 186–137, by 48
Cardinals, +58 in 14 starts · Andrew Luck led 5 weeks
The best man in each season is the largest franchise PAR that year. The weekly leader is computed for champions only: a losing finalist's week by week belongs to its own season page.

Who built it

Every man who started a game in a championship season, in lineup order. Two titles, two drawers.

2012 · 26 men started26 starters
PlayerPosStartsPointsPAR
Tom BradyQB1537533
Andrew LuckQB1309
Marshawn LynchRB1321866
Frank GoreRB1214713
Maurice Jones-DrewRB4473
Ronnie HillmanRB16-5
Fred JacksonRB25-21
Demaryius ThomasWR1518642
Wes WelkerWR1515714
Andrew HawkinsWR216-2.8
James JonesWR11103-3.1
Jeremy MaclinWR319-10
Ryan BroylesWR21-16
Dennis PittaTE7505
Jacob TammeTE12-1
Dustin KellerTE425-6.9
Jared CookTE418-13
Shayne GrahamK2191
Garrett HartleyK540-4
Alex HeneryK538-6.7
Connor BarthK426-7.0
Cleveland BrownsDEF3212.2
Buffalo BillsDEF4281.8
New York GiantsDEF15-1.8
Baltimore RavensDEF748-2.2
Washington RedskinsDEF10-7.0
Franchise PAR for Hitmen in 2012. Rows sort by position in lineup order, then by PAR within position. Kickers and defenses are in a record, so they are here.Roster total 80 PAR
2015 · 25 men started25 starters
PlayerPosStartsPointsPAR
Kirk CousinsQB411934
Andrew LuckQB71637
Alex SmithQB115-5.6
Jameis WinstonQB475-15
Isaiah CrowellRB1153
Denard RobinsonRB214-6.5
Charles SimsRB13-7.0
Marshawn LynchRB759-10
Frank GoreRB14133-12.6
T.J. YeldonRB985-12.8
Sammy WatkinsWR45719
Jarvis LandryWR1414816
Michael CrabtreeWR10978
Demaryius ThomasWR131230.2
Rueben RandleWR29-10
Davante AdamsWR421-12
Mike EvansWR1299-14
Jordan ReedTE88736
Delanie WalkerTE756-2.4
Jared CookTE11-6.6
Jordan CameronTE316-11
Stephen HauschkaK109613
Blair WalshK6516
CardinalsDEF1420458
BengalsDEF216-1.6
Franchise PAR for Hitmen in 2015. Rows sort by position in lineup order, then by PAR within position. Kickers and defenses are in a record, so they are here.Roster total 72 PAR