Six titles, including the only three-peat, and a winning record against all nine opponents when every meeting is counted. Nobody else is close: the next franchise loses two of its nine. The scope matters and the page prints it, because in the regular season alone two of those nine are dead even, Naberhood at 13-13 and Caleboys at 18-18, and December is the whole difference. IronCity is 14-4 in the playoffs. Trades rarely, and when he does it is a deadline rental: fourteen trades, five of them in the preseason. The pattern that defines him is buying the first overall pick. It has changed hands three times in the seventeen drafts whose order survives, he acquired it twice, and he won the championship both times.

The commissioner, and the reason this league has a record at all. He has been party to 37 of the 58 trades ever made: only twenty-one trades in league history did not involve him. He has never finished last in nineteen seasons and has twelve top-four finishes, more than anyone. He has also run the franchise under seven different names across eight spells, including restocking the cupboard, I Made a Poopy and Baby Steps, which tells you something about how seriously he takes the part of this that isn't winning. He was in the room in 1994 and took Barry Sanders at pick twelve.

The long-hold specialist. Drew Brees for thirteen seasons and 176 starts, then Travis Kelce for eleven and 151. In a keeper league this is the purest expression of the format, and he has run the same play twice at the same scarce position, which nobody else has managed once.

Two titles nine years apart, won by completely different teams. Kept Aaron Rodgers for fifteen straight seasons and 154 starts, 155 across all sixteen, the longest anyone has held anyone. The franchise has been the Blues, Gustos, UNDERDOGS!! and Aaron it Out!, and the current name is the only one that admits what the strategy always was.

The best record of any franchise that has never won a title, and level with the team directly above him on this list: both are 139-132 and only points separate them. Has rostered genuinely elite players, Derrick Henry for nine seasons and Josh Allen for six, and converted none of it. Owns the Alligators 21-9 and loses to Ed 9-16, the two most one-sided things about him and neither of them a title.

In the room in 1994, took Jerry Rice in round one, and still here. One of three managers who has never renamed his team, in a league where the average franchise has run three names. Won 2006 in the paper era, before the measured record starts, and has been 0-3 in finals since, which is its own kind of loyalty.

One trade. In nineteen years. Two championships, neither of them with the best roster in the league: the 2012 team was fourth in scoring and won anyway, and the 2015 team was carried by a defense. He has never lost a final. Nobody in this league does more with less attention paid to it.

Took over in 2025 from Linda M., who held the franchise for twenty years, the longest single tenure in the league. Inherited the best quarterback this franchise has ever had, Patrick Mahomes. Four last-place finishes and a championship, which is a wider range than anyone else on this page has managed.

Three championships and a losing lifetime record, which nobody else manages in either direction. Undefeated in finals at 3-0, and 6-2 in the playoffs on a .437 career: he wins in bursts and disappears between them. Has also never finished last, which is true of only one other franchise and that one is second all-time. A team defense sits second on his all-time list, true of no other franchise, and the 2019 title was carried by one.

Took over in 2015 and inherited the hardest job in the league. Last all-time, five last-place finishes, no titles, three finals lost, and a losing record against all nine opponents when every meeting is counted, the exact mirror of the team at the top of this page. He also rostered Christian McCaffrey, the most valuable player in league history, and won nothing with him. The franchise has had four owners and five names; nobody has held it long enough to build anything.

IronCity Naberhood Washed UP Aaron it Out! Reggie's Caleboys Hitmen Alligators SMOKERS Sweep The Leg Total

IronCity 15–14 19–16 27–11 24–14 20–18 14–11 21–12–1 19–11 15–7 174–114

Naberhood 14–15 16–13 17–12 21–13 12–15 23–15 26–12 18–14 22–11 169–120

Washed UP 16–19 13–16 17–18 13–12 18–17 11–18 21–14 19–11 22–12 150–137

Aaron it Out! 11–27 12–17 18–17 16–9 16–17 11–13 18–16 23–15 19–8 144–139

Reggie's 14–24 13–21 12–13 9–16 12–11 18–17 21–9 20–12 22–15 141–138

Caleboys 18–20 15–12 17–18 17–16 11–12 16–19 13–19 13–15 19–8 139–139

Hitmen 11–14 15–23 18–11 13–11 17–18 19–16 11–16 16–15 20–18 140–142

Alligators 12–21–1 12–26 14–21 16–18 9–21 19–13 16–11 13–12 14–12 125–155

SMOKERS 11–19 14–18 11–19 15–23 12–20 15–13 15–16 12–13 17–16 122–157

Sweep The Leg 7–15 11–22 12–22 8–19 15–22 8–19 18–20 12–14 16–17 107–170